I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
