Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
