I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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