is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
