But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
