id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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