I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just want nice things and good sex
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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