She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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