Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
