Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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