people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
