is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize