i just wanna soil my oats bro
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
nutella sex= disaster
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.