Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins