just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.