I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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