Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
