I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
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I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
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No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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