Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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