so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize