So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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