im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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