I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
