I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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