I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
