You just made me feel so damn special
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
