summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
