i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
