i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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