i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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