Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just high enough for therapy.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize