hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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