If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
