Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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