That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The air was thick with penises
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
