I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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