Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
