I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize