And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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