Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
