They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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