I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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