maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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