You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
