i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
