U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
