Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize