he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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