His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
