She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
