He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My ass is underappreciated
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
