Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
