If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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