Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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