Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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