Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
