I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
